Away Messages, Funny Away Messages for AIM and ICQ

Away Messages, Funny Away Messages for AIM and ICQ
Away messages are important because you know damn well all your so-called buddies are snooping around to see what you're up to. Well here at College Downtime we've thousands of funny away messages for AIM, ICQ, MSN; hell, you can use these away messages for any instant message program you want. We're always adding new away messages, whether they're funny, clever, or boring, because variety is the spice of life. We hope you enjoy our massive and ever-growing funny away message collection and enjoy College Downtime!

Away Message Categories
Bathroom Eating Funny Random Insults Life Put Your Thinking Cap On Getting Drunk Phone Love Homework Sexual Shopping Sleeping TV

You have stumbled upon some of the Funniest AOL MSN and YAHOO Away Messages on the internet! Obviously you can see for yourself that we are looking to get the highest quality AOL MSN and YAHOO Away Messages that you use yourself. Feel free to use ours and please submit one of your own. Here at College Downtime we are trying to build the biggest and best humor website on the planet. So if you have any funny, serious, or just plain offensive AOL MSN OR YAHOO Away Messages submit them now.

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1	In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
2	I am lost. I have gone to look for myself. If I get back before I return, please tell me to wait.
3	Here is a riddle for you. A man and his son were in a car accident. Two ambulences came to pick them up and took them to two seperate hospitals. The doctor came into the operating room and said, "I can't work on this boy, he is my son." How is that possible? (The doctor is his mom)
4	I can't talk on the computer now, so if, well, actually, I CAN talk on the computer now, I mean, like, I'm at the computer NOW, writing this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're reading it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're reading it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.
5	Hey, I'm here but I'm not here so when I get here you will know I am here because I will be here.
6	Why is it that when someone says they are no speech maker they have to go on to prove it?
7	Hey? Didn't you IM me the day after yesterday?
8	I am not away. I am a liar.
9	Practice makes perfect but no one is perfect so why practice?
10	If everyone is a winner, then doesn't that mean that everyone is also a loser?
11	If everyone is a winner, then doesn't that mean that everyone is also a loser?
12	Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"
13	Imagine a world without hypothetical situations.
14	If quitters never win and winners never quit who came up with "Quit while your ahead"?
15	Will you let me know when I get back?
16	If you ask someone if they're a compulsive liar and they answer yes, should you believe them?
17	If you asked someone if they lie constantly, and they said yes would you believe them?
18	I haven't gone away but I'll be right back.
19	I'm not here right now and I regret to say that due to unforseen circumstances, later has been cancelled.
20	I'm telling the truth, everything I say is a lie.
21	How do you throw away a trash can?
22	A bird can fly but a fly can't bird. Think about it!
23	In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
24	Isn't it scary to know what doctors do for a living is called "practice"?
25	If tomorrow is going to be twice as cold as it iss today, and if today is 0 degrees, how cold will it be tomorrow?
26	The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population.
27	The glass is neither half empty nor half full. It is twice as large as it needs to be.
28	I left. I don't know where I am. Do you know where I am? Do you know where you are? Are you lost? Did you find you? I found you. You're there at your computer. But I'm not here. So then I guess I'm over there some where.
29	If you are there and I am here, where is here and who is there?
30	If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
31	"If you put something in quotation marks, then everyone will think someone famous said and they'll start saying it and then eventually it will be famous."
32	The statement below is True. The statement above is False. Which statement is correct?
33	You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
34	Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
35	I'm lost. I've gone to look for myself, so if I get back before I return, please ask me to wait.
36	People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
37	Think of someone of "average" intelligence. Then think half the world is dumber than that.
38	Hey, I'm not here because I'm there...I'm not sure where there is but if you find out, please come here and tell me...
39	What's another word for thesaurus?
40	When people say "Expect the unexpected," doesn't that mean the unexpected is expected?
41	If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
42	But I ask, if I think not, am I not? I think not. Don't you think?
43	Have you ever noticed anyone going slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
44	Anything in parenthesis can (not) be ignored.
45	Busy planning to be spontaneous.
46	Did you know that it is anatomically impossible to lick your elbow... And 75% of the people who hear that actually try to lick their elbow?
47	Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.
48	How can you miss me if I don't go away?
49	The early bird may get the worm, but the late rising worm lives.
50	What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
51	Since history never stops, when does the future begin?
52	If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
53	I doubt therefore I might be.