Away Messages, Funny Away Messages for AIM and ICQ

Away Messages, Funny Away Messages for AIM and ICQ
Away messages are important because you know damn well all your so-called buddies are snooping around to see what you're up to. Well here at College Downtime we've thousands of funny away messages for AIM, ICQ, MSN; hell, you can use these away messages for any instant message program you want. We're always adding new away messages, whether they're funny, clever, or boring, because variety is the spice of life. We hope you enjoy our massive and ever-growing funny away message collection and enjoy College Downtime!

Away Message Categories
Bathroom Eating Funny Random Insults Life Put Your Thinking Cap On Getting Drunk Phone Love Homework Sexual Shopping Sleeping TV

You have stumbled upon some of the Funniest AOL MSN and YAHOO Away Messages on the internet! Obviously you can see for yourself that we are looking to get the highest quality AOL MSN and YAHOO Away Messages that you use yourself. Feel free to use ours and please submit one of your own. Here at College Downtime we are trying to build the biggest and best humor website on the planet. So if you have any funny, serious, or just plain offensive AOL MSN OR YAHOO Away Messages submit them now.

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1	I'm bored, your boring, so don't leave a message.
2	I'm obviously doing something more important than you.
3	You suck. Leave me a message.
4	Eat my ass with a spoon! And if you want, I guess leave me a message, i'm studying for my woman studies class right now.
5	I'm not here right now because I'm waiting for %n to get offline.
6	All the idiots of the world have surronded one computer... yours.
7	I am having a bad day and talking to you will only make it worse.
8	I'm not here right now so go bother someone else.
9	I'm having fun right now so don't ruin it. Leave me a message.
10	I'm out fucking your girlfriend right now, so leave me a message and I'll get back to you! She says "Hi!" by the way!
11	Remember JESUS LOVES YOU... everyone else thinks your an idiot.
12	What sucks, blows, and gets laid in the closet? Yo momma, beotch! Leave me one!
13	I love to chat, just not with you.
14	Less is more: The less you talk, the more I like you.
15	If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
16	The Village called and said they were looking for %n. They're missing their idiot.
17	Oh dear! Looks like %n fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!
18	I'm obviously doing something more important than you.
19	If a thousand people love you, I am in that thousand. If a hundred people love you, I am in that hundred. If ten people love you I am in that ten. If only one person loves you, you guessed it, that person is me! Ahh... sorry.. as of right now, I am not here. You know what that means!
20	I am having a bad day and talking to you will only make it worse.
21	I'm sorry, I'm ignoring you.
22	I know the wind blows for free, how much do you charge? (Submitted by Alex)
23	Girls were a poor investment. I want my rib back.
24	maybe I'll become a meteorologist so that when I get tough with someone I can say "I'm predicting a 4 inch accumulation of my FIST on your FACE with a 100 percent chance of BLEEDING!"
25	I'm screwing your mom. Really.
26	I am away from my computer right now... so shut the fuck up.
27	fuck you
28	which part in 'away' u didnt understand? [Submitted by LuVhUrTz®]
29	Don't be dissin wut u be missin, the words I be sayin, the chit I be playin....just rollin and hoin and towin and knowin now wut wut I be Gangsta
30	I will use google before asking dump questions.. I will use google before asking dump questions.. I will use google before asking dump questions.. [by casH]
31	right in between "Default Away Message" and "Playing Game" away message AIM should put "busy wastin my life watching the MOTHER FUCKIN OC">:o
32	words of encouragement and inspiration from my prof and I quote,"I'm not sure that anything discussed in class is making the impact it needs to have on you as a future teacher." Fuuuuuuuuuuuck you Sucubus Salata:-D
33	Fuck This,Fuck That And More Importantly FUCK YOU!!!!
34	this is a multiple choice Fuck This, Fuck That And More Important im fuckin your YOUR MOM/SISTER/DAD/NAN/BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND
35	(In reguards to valentines day) today americans celebrate the most worthless holiday of them all....It is a day where having a relationship means you have to waste money on a elaborate dinner some stupid chocolates, and flowers...all to get a peace of ass that's no different then the last time you screwed your girlfriend...I wouldn't mind the getting ass part...but all the other crap is worthless...plus all it does is stop you from having the money to buy more beer on friday night when you run out....all because you wanted to be a romantic butt pirate.......I salute you men who do nothing on valentine's day but beat that shit up right...because that's all it's really about right????8-).......Sorry ladies but you must know what your man is honestly thinking on this Bullshit Hallmark Holiday
36	Heres A Little Math For You: ME + Your Mom = You
37	Gone Like You Moms Virginity
38	Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? I LIED.
39	I highly reccomend this web site, www.plasticsurgery.com to you. After a couple grand worth of work, who knows? You might even look as good as me
40	I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.
41	I'm out like you in a beauty contest.
42	Hey, Im really here. It's just that, there is someone thats on that I'm avoiding. So, if you are IM'ing me, and I'm not answering, IT'S YOU!!!
43	I am not anti-social...I just don't like you.
44	I may be fat,but you're ugly,and I can diet!!!
45	Why don't you go outside and play, hide and go fuck yourself.
46	I'm not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!!
47	Damn not you again!
48	Why are you bothering me? I have my away message on cause I don't want to listen to you and your stupid nonsense.
49	Forget the ugly stick! you must have been born in the ugly forrest!
50	Today is opposite day: I'm at my computer right now because I really want to talk to you!
51	Oh dear! Looks like %n fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!
52	Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but %n abuses the privilege.
53	I'm sorry %n. Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.
54	Don't hate me because I'm beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
55	Hey %n! I would talk to you, but my mom said not to talk to people who don't have lives. She said they have a bad influence on me. My most sincere apologies.
56	When I saw you came on, I knew I had to leave - I'll be back when your gone!
57	God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes.
58	There are some stupid people in this world. You just helped me realize it.
59	How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up?
60	Mirrors don't talk but lucky for you %n they don't laugh.
61	If I wanted to talk to you, I would have IMed you first.
62	Sorry I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you.
63	%n, go click ur heels and say: I NEED A LIFE, I NEED A LIFE...
64	People like you are the reason I'm on medication
65	If you're gonna act like a dick you should wear a condom on your head so you can at least look like one !!!
66	I have always woundered why people bang their heads against brick walls..... then I met you. Don't bother leaving a message.
67	Don't let your mind wander. It's way to small to be outside by itself!
68	Hey I'm gone but if its %n tell your mom that she forgot her thong! Earth is full. Go home.
69	You know the drill! You leave a message....and I ignore it!
70	Right now I'm sitting here looking at the screen trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass
71	Cancel my subscriptions ... I'm tired of your issues.
72	Hmm...I dont know what your probelm is...but I'm going to bet it's really hard to pronounce...
73	I need you...........I want you............To get offline!
74	How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...
75	A pretty girl can kiss a guy, a bird can kiss a butterfly, the rising sun can kiss the grass, but you my friend!! yes you!! YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!
76	Hey %n !!! What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck... Oh... It's your head...
77	FOR THE LAST TIME! Your mother left here at 9 this morning... Leave me alone!
78	Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?
79	Remember %n, JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks you're an idiot.
80	Oh I'm sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby?
81	Hey %n, heres a hint. If i don't answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work?
82	Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide to bodies
83	Until you IM'ed me I couldn't remember the last time I wanted somebody's fingers to break so badly.
84	Hey %n, you have just tried to IM me without success. I left becuase... 1.) This Convo. Stinks 2.) You bored me into doing homework. 3.) Something interesting is going on somewhere else. 4.) I hate you. 5.) I would rather watch an aritifical plant grow. 6.) Sorry you just bore the Hell out of ME!!!
85	If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do you wear a bra??!
86	Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but you need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin bottle.
87	Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but you need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin bottle.
88	Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?
89	Right now I'm sitting here looking at the screen trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
90	A pretty girl can kiss a guy* a bird can kiss a butterfly* the rising sun can kiss the grass* but you my friend!! yes you!! YOU CAN KISS MY ASS*******
91	I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!
92	People like you are the reason I'm on medication.
93	If you didn't have feet you wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do you wear a bra??!
94	mirrors don't talk but lucky for you %n they don't laugh
95	Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide to bodies
96	Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't wanna be mean, but you need listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole friggin bottle
97	I have always woundered why people bang their heads against brick walls..... then I met you. Don't bother leaving a message.
98	Hey %n, you have just tried to IM me without success. I left becuase... 1.) This Convo. Stinks 2.) You bored me into doing homework. 3.) Something interesting is going on somewhere else. 4.) I hate you. 5.) I would rather watch an aritifical plant grow. 6.) Sorry you just bore the Hell out of ME!!!
99	Don't let your mind wander. It's way to small to be outside by itself!
100	When I saw you came on, I knew I had to leave - I'll be back when your gone!
101	I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.
102	Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? I LIED.
103	Hey, Remember that time I told you I thought you were cool? I LIED.
104	I need you...........I want you............To get offline
105	Damn not you again.......
106	Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but %n abuses the privilege.
107	If I wanted to talk to you, I would have IMed you first.
108	I am not anti-social..I just don't like you
109	If you're gonna act like a dick you should wear a condom on your head so you can at least look like one !!!
110	Hmm...I dont know what your probelm is...but I'm going to bet it's really hard to pronounce...
111	Until you IM'ed me I couldn't remember the last time I wanted somebody's fingers to break so badly.
112	God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes.
113	Cancel my subscriptions ... I'm tired of your issues.
114	Hey %n, heres a hint. If i don't answer you the first 25 times, what makes you think the next 25 will work?
115	How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...
116	I may be fat,but you're ugly,and I can diet!!!
117	Hey %n!I would talk to you, but my mom said not to talk to people who don't have lives. She said they have a bad influence on me. My most sincere apologies.
118	Hey %n !!! What's that ugly thing growing out of your neck... Oh... It's your head...
119	Earth is full. Go home.
120	I highly reccomend this web site, www.plasticsurgery.com to you. After a couple grand worth of work, who knows? You might even look as good as me.
121	There are some stupid people in this world. You just helped me realize it.
122	Remember %n, JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks you're an idiot.
123	Oh dear! Looks like %n fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!
124	Why don't you go outside any play, hide and go f**k yourself
125	I'm sorry %n. Talking to you seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns.
126	Oh I'm sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby?
127	Hey, Im really here. It's just that, there is someone thats on that I'm avioding. So, if you are IM'ing me, and I'm not answering, IT'S YOU!!!
128	Don't hate me because I'm beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
129	How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up? I'm away live with it.
130	I'm not mean ... you're just a sissy.
131	FOR THE LAST TIME! Your mother left here at 9 this morning... Leave me alone!
132	%n, go click ur heels and say: I NEED A LIFE, I NEED A LIFE...brb
133	Hey- I am away from my computer but in the meantime, why don't you go play in traffic?!
134	Hey I'm gone but if its %n tell your mom that she forgot her thong!
135	Sorry I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you.
136	Let's see, I've walked the dog, cleaned my room, gone shopping and gossiped with my friends...Nope, this list doesn't say that I'm required to talk to you.
137	When you were born you were so ugly that instead of slapping you, the doctor slapped your mom! leave a message
138	Forget the ugly stick! you must have been born in the ugly forrest!
139	Today is opposite day: I'm at my computer right now because I really want to talk to you!
140	I'm obviously doing something more important than talking to you.
141	You know the drill! You leave a message....and I ignore it!
142	Come on %n Did you honestly think I wanted YOU to know where I went?
143	I am staring at the computer screen waiting for somthing important to happen...wait! Oh no...it's just you.
144	I'm not here right now so cry me a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!!!
145	Why are you bothering me? I have my away message on cause I don't want to listen to you and your stupid nonsense.
146	Why are you IMing me if my away message is on? You know I'm obviously not here at the moment. I mean really, we all have the right to be stupid but you're abusing the privilage.
147	You have your whole life to be a jerk....so why dont you take a day off so.. leave me a message for when I get back!!!!
148	My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since you're really strange.... I guess that means I can't talk to you!
149	I'm outside making a snowman, ok it's not snowing.. ever consider I just didnt wanna talk to you! Take a hint!
150	I'm in a good mood right now, don't ruin it by IM'ing me.
151	I really don't like you but if you really must leave a message, I'll be nice and at least pretend to care.
152	The Village just called. They said they were missing their town idiot, I couldn't really understand them, but I think they were saying the name was %n...
153	HEY!! Don't tell %n but I'm avoiding them with this away message..THANKS!!
154	I'm only allowed to talk to people.
155	You dont know me, you just wish you did.
156	Roses are red, vilolets a blue, god made me hot, what the hell happened to you!?
157	I have betta thangs to do than talk to u like spinning around in my computer chair!!
158	MoM Said Not to talk to ugly people so bye bye :)
159	It's my party and I will cry if I want to... you can cry to cause you weren't Invited!
160	Sorry I am not here right now because no one is on...sorry %n...you must be no one.
161	10 things good about men:1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.Tell me when you think of one..while you think I'll nap....
162	I hope fleas of a thousand camels come and infest your armpits while I'm gone.
163	Hey, there's something weird on my computer, oh it's your face.
164	When I was little I was niceWhen I was little I was politeWhen I was little I never left anyone waiting..When I was little I thought you looked hott...WHAT HAPPPENED? EVERYTHING CHANGED!!!!!
165	The world isn't big enough for the two of us %n, so please go jump off a bridge.
166	I obviously don't want to talk to you right now, so leave a message and I'll be sure to ignore it.
167	I'm bored, your boring, so don't leave a message.
168	Hey, I am sitting in my chair starring at the wall. It gets boring after a while. But it is much better then talking to you!
169	People like you are the reason I'm not here. So Bye
170	I'll be right back. I'm saving the world... from people like YOU.
171	Hey %n I'm not here right now, but if you need to talk to me, call your girl friend.
172	I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day. kisses
173	If I wanted to talk to you %n, I would be here wouldnt I?
174	Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone
175	Like, hi! Like, hey! Like, you are really gay!
176	Did you ride the big bus or the little bus to school today?
177	Unlike %n, I have a life!
178	Roses are red, Violets are blue. Thank goodness I'm not here, So I Can't IM you!
179	Wait... I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
180	They are gonna have to rename the birds and the bees to, Me and your Mom. :-D
181	If you arn't important enough that I'm not talkin to you right now, then what are you going looking at my away message?
182	Hey right now I'm away, but really I'm sitting right here thinking how stupid you are for still IM'ing me.
183	Hey I'm screening my messages making sure no losers IM me. If I don't answer you, you're it. Congratulations if so; it's hard to get on that list.
184	Hi %n! I am not at the computer right now, so if you would like, you could leave a message so I could throw it away.
185	I know that you want to talk to me, because I am such a nice, loving, and caring guy, but I'm not around right now so quit TRYING to IM me. I am sick of this crap. You think that I am available to assist you with all of your problems, but let me tell you the truth...there is no help, no help for any of you...
186	Roses r red violets r blu god made me pretty wut happened to u?
187	Roses are red. Violets are blue. If I wanted you to IM me then I would've asked you to.
188	I have nothing against you, I am just trying to ignore you.
189	I'm really here...but why would I want to talk to you?
190	What makes you think you're something special when you smile?
191	Doing something better than talking to %n
192	My mom said not to talk to strangers..so in that case, I dont know you.
193	Don't take it personaly.. but you smell like an ice cube
194	You know how they say opposites attract? Not in this case: Me = 100% beauty! You = way beyond ugly! So don't IM me, because I'm sitting at the computer now cracking up thinking about your face!
195	Roses are red. Violets are blue, nothing can smell as bad as you!
196	It's ok %n, half the world is below average too. Your not the only one!
197	I'm going for the record to see how many people that I can ignore, your just one of the hundreds!
198	Hey do you wanna play a game? It's called follow the leader. Do what I do and put your away message up, so I can come back on while you're gone!
199	I always thought the barney song was dumb then I met %n and the song was true.
200	Hi, I don't care Thank You, buh bye.
201	I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. I wish I were you so I could be with me.
202	I got bored of talkin to you %n, so when you find some interesting convo, caybe I'll come back to indulge in the conversation.
203	I'm not ignoring you %n, you're just insignificant
204	Hey %n , dont worry there are a lot of people below average.. your not the only one!
205	Hey %n! I'm like you in a beauty pageant... GONE!! Sooo, get a makeover or leave me a message!!!
206	Waiting for someone special to get on and it ain't you %n, so go away buh bye
207	Sorry, I am not currently accepting messages from a person like right now.
208	Everyone has the right to be an A$$Hole, but just abuses the privlage!
209	I WANT YOU...... TO GO AWAY!!!!!!
210	Computer broken-watch for finger
211	I'm not here right now because I'm waiting for you to get offline.
212	A millennium is 1000 years. Thats how long I don't want to talk to you.
213	Go find a straw %n cuz you suck!
214	I'm away from my computer right now because I'm pondering how %n can be so stupid.
215	You must be pretty stupid to IM when you know I have an away message on....
216	Skank of the weel: %n
217	I'm obviously not here right now because I'm waiting for YOU to leave...have a nice day.
218	I have some questions for you!!Why do you like TV?Why are you annoying me?Why don't you have anything better to do?Why are you messing w/ me?Why am I asking these useless questions?Why am I gone??I dunnno so stop YELLING AT ME!!!!
219	Yo mama is so dumb when she was pulled over for drunk driving and they asked her to walked the line she said, 'Which one?'
220	Shhhhhhhhhh! Don't tell %n but %t is having a party and they arent invited
221	Can you do me a favor and try not to be imature when you talk to me? Thanks!
222	Did you know that Beaverrs are mammals, and therefore have placental glands that produce milk? Go start a Beaver Beverage Company. I'll be here waiting to ignore you some more.
223	I'm not talking to you so don't send me an IM. And if you do... I will tell you what the voices in my head think of you..No wait I won't...because I'm a Christian woman!!!
224	Roses are red Violets are blue, im too cute to talk to you so leave me a message xoxo
225	Stop askin me to make out with u %n... I WONT!
226	Im not here right now...actually I am but I wish I wasn't because I have a camera that can see whoever is IM'ing me and if you just IM'd me then obviously your ugly....
227	o o o \| \| \| / / / Hey look.. Im running away from %n!
228	If I'm not available it probably means I dont want to speak to you.
229	Hey, do you have a band aid and an extra brain? I scraped my knee when I saw how stupid you are for IMing me!
230	I have high friends in places. SO STOP SENDING ME STUPID MESSAGES! NOW!
231	If your head wasn't attached to your body you'd probably missplace it.
232	Hi, you have reached the _____ residance at AIM..I'm not here right now so if you could not leave me a message it would be great! after all..this isn't a message machine! ...stupid!
233	OMG!!! Something really bad has happened! %n IMed me help me!!!!
234	If my ass was as big as urs I wouldnt have to have aol you could write everything on my ass!!!!:-D
235	Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, how stupid are you?