Away Messages, Funny Away Messages for AIM and ICQ

Away Messages, Funny Away Messages for AIM and ICQ
Away messages are important because you know damn well all your so-called buddies are snooping around to see what you're up to. Well here at College Downtime we've thousands of funny away messages for AIM, ICQ, MSN; hell, you can use these away messages for any instant message program you want. We're always adding new away messages, whether they're funny, clever, or boring, because variety is the spice of life. We hope you enjoy our massive and ever-growing funny away message collection and enjoy College Downtime!

Away Message Categories
Bathroom Eating Funny Random Insults Life Put Your Thinking Cap On Getting Drunk Phone Love Homework Sexual Shopping Sleeping TV

You have stumbled upon some of the Funniest AOL MSN and YAHOO Away Messages on the internet! Obviously you can see for yourself that we are looking to get the highest quality AOL MSN and YAHOO Away Messages that you use yourself. Feel free to use ours and please submit one of your own. Here at College Downtime we are trying to build the biggest and best humor website on the planet. So if you have any funny, serious, or just plain offensive AOL MSN OR YAHOO Away Messages submit them now.

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1	Takin a shit
2	I am stranded on toilet island.
3	Playing with my rubber duckie. I'll be back when I'm all clean.
4	It's raining! Oh, nevermind that's just the shower.
5	I'm slipping and sliding in the shower.
6	Don't waste water, shower with a friend.
7	I'm taking a shower now because the neighbors are starting to complain.
8	I'm taking a shower so I smell good for you.
9	I'm magically changing the color of toilet paper.
10	I'm delivering a package to the toilet.
11	I've gone to un-retain some water.
12	Waiting for someone to bring me some toilet paper.
13	Shower Power!
14	Today we are experiencing some massive yellow rainfall and gigantic brown hail stones.
15	The rabbit goes nibble, the cow goes moo, the pig goes oink, and I go poo!
16	My toilet's favorite food is chocolate and right now I'm feeding it some.
17	If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.
18	Singing in the shower.
19	Negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages.
20	Making it rain in Toiletville.
21	I'll be right back, my potty is thirsty.
22	On the potty, if I'm not back in 5 minutes, I fell in.
23	No job is finished until the paperwork is done. In the bathroom, leave me one!
24	I'm magically changing the color of my teeth.
25	Riding the porcilin pony.
26	Making my bladder gladder, beotch!
27	I'm feeding the potty, please leave a message and I'll get back to you when its full!
28	Be back in a splash ... In the john!
29	I'm off to the urination station.
30	Ridding myself of internal famine.
31	Selecting various food items from our storage for personal consumption.
32	Food... it does the body good. Leave me one!
33	Breaking the seal, leave me one.
34	Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'd rather be shopping than talk to you.
35	Don't settle for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can't live without.
36	Dropping the kids off at the pool... (Submitted by NDFANATIC8)
37	Putting one through the hoop. (Harvey Swanson)
38	Growing a Tail. (Harvey Swanson)
39	Making Hershey Kisses. (Harvey Swanson)
40	These are my away messages for when I'm in the shower. Im off to get completely naked, extremely wet, and touch myself all over. So when you finally remove you mind from the gutter, message me, and ill get back to you after im out of the shower. perverts!!! OR I'm naked and all wet. So that can only mean one thing. I'm takin a shower because I don't want to be a dirty girl anymore and I'll feel better when I get out. Why what did you think I was doing?
41	Bud Light Presents: Real American Heroes. Today I salute you Mr./Mrs./Ms. Compulsive Away Message Checker. While most people are out actually having a fun college life, you are at home, reading about it on your computer screen. Right mouse click, Get Buddy Info, or the little Info box at the bottom of the Buddy List [whichever is faster]. You have people on that list you haven't talked to in years, but you still loyally read their away messages everyday to see what they are up to [borderline stalking]. So sit back, Marauder of the Mousepad, and don't wander too far from your computer because you never know when someone's away message may change
42	Girls were a poor investment. I want my rib back.
43	When something stinks, you're probanly somewhere close to an Australian. (Submitted by a South African)
44	Lay off me, I'm starving! - Chris Farley
45	I'm taking the Browns to the Super Bowl, and by the looks of it it is going to be tough.
46	"It's OK officer... they didn't drink as much as I did!"
47	poopin...if you didnt want to know you shouldnt have asked
48	CHECK OUT MARKER A NEW BAND IN TOWN WWW.MARKER.CC PHILA. BASED BAND SEEN ON VH-1
49	"In the shower....Who wants to join in the fun??"
50	I'm not as think as I drunk you am.
51	Don't you wish you were my homework so I'd be doing you right now?
52	Here I sit broken hearted, tried to shit and only farted. Later on I took a chance......tried to fart and shit my pants.
53	nice shoes!...want to fuck?
54	I was sitting here thinking about how fat I've gotten recently. Then I started thinking about exercising. But thinking made me hungry, so I gotta eat!
55	hello i want friend ship withh u
56	ur a f-ing moron
57	Dropping of the Cosby Kids
58	puto aceptame en el trade
59	Death to all alien toasters
60	I got a meeting with Mr. Johnson, be back in 5 minutes.
61	Taking the Browns to the Superbowl
62	Hear no Evil, See no Evil, Speak no Evil, Sometimes you just gotta take a Shit!
63	Rub-a-dub-dub, I'm in the tub...maybe even with three men!
64	Rub-a-dub-dub, I'm in the tub...maybe even with three men!
65	Fuck Off, cause i'm getting my Fuck On
66	after my 17 or so years on this planet i have learned a few things: #1 girls are btiches and #2 guys are ass holes. I believe this is a result of A negative feedback mechanism from the ladies. It results in me being an asshole. So I have come about with a way to stop this...Stop Being Bitches...and if you don't believ this will work ladies just try it for a month, no bitchyness at all and bam, their just might be an alright guy hiding in that asshole
67	gettin unstink-a-fied and super sex-a-fied with a hot showr, grrrrrrrrrr;-)
68	Bringin the Browns to the Superbowl
69	vcbcvbvcb
70	Bringin the Browns to the Superbowl
71	im in sleep mode...zzz...
72	maybe something nice, long, hot, and all wet will make me feel better. a shower you sickos
73	I'm droppin' the Jeffersons off at the Pool.
74	Have you ever felt what it't like to piss like a race horse? Grab onto my dick real quick and you will!
75	out chasing little boys in the parking lot... be back when i catch one! (by Waterbuffalomoo)
76	I'm not here cause I'm goin #1...or maybe #2, oh GOD I hope its #2, it feels so good when I go 2#.
77	Its that time of the week again.. I'm in the shower.
78	im not here now, im off stopping the killer monkey revolt!!!!!!
79	It's that time of the month again.... Shower time in our house!
80	Rub-a dub-dub, there better not be 3 men in my tub.
81	I'm Peeing
82	Sorry but I am confronting the Pharoe to let my little brown people go...gonna take some hard pushing but i think it will all come out ok in the end!
83	g
84	Sittin on the Throne, visiting with the Arch Dook
85	Giving head be back in 10 min.
86	Making my bladder gladder.
87	Takin a shit.
88	I'm at the bank making a deposit, no not that kind of bank, I'm on the toilet.
89	King (or Queen) (your name) is on the throne.
90	Reigning on my throne.
91	Fiber cleans everything but the toilet.
92	Putting one through the hoop.
93	I'm not here cause I'm goin #1...or maybe #2, oh GOD I hope its #2, it feels so good when I go 2#.
94	Be back in a flush... I mean flash.
95	I'm taking the Browns to the Super Bowl, and by the looks of it it is going to be tough.
96	Doodie called and now we're having a long conversation in the bathroom.
97	I'm magically changing the color of toilet paper.
98	Riding the porcilien pony.
99	I'm trying out my new toilet paper.
100	I'm droppin' the Jeffersons off at the Pool.
101	I'm delivering a package to the toilet.
102	I'm at the Log Dropping Ceremonies.
103	I'm in the bathroom right now...Be back in a splash.
104	Breaking the seal, leave me one.
105	The rabbit goes nibble, the cow goes moo, the pig goes oink, and I go poo!
106	No job is finished until the paperwork is done. In the bathroom, leave me one!
107	I'm off to the urination station.
108	Out chasing little boys in the parking lot... be back when i catch one!
109	Swish, swish, goes the pee. Plop, plop, goes the poop. I'm in the bathroom!
110	My toilet's favorite food is chocolate and right now I'm feeding it some.
111	On the potty, if I'm not back in 5 minutes, I fell in.
112	Visiting the greatest nation is the world... Urination.
113	I've gone to un-retain some water.
114	I'm taking a dump at the moment so if its not to much trouble just dump a message on the screen.
115	Negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages.
116	How dry I am, how wet I'll be, if you don't stop, IMing me. You got offline, now I'm heading for the door... oops it's to late...it's on the bathroom floor.
117	You know you are addicted to the internet when you refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
118	Have you ever felt what it't like to piss like a race horse? Grab onto my dick real quick and you will!
119	Sorry I'm not here at my computer at the present moment, but I am on the toilet. If you would like to come over and bring me some toilet paper that would be greatly appreciated.
120	If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.
121	If you are reading this then that means I have gone to a better place... yep I am on the toilet.
122	Today we are experiencing some massive yellow rainfall and gigantic brown hail stones.
123	It's "Potty Time."
124	The average person goes to the bathroom 6 times per day. This is one of those times.
125	If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat!
126	HELP! I'm trapped in the toilet, I fell in. Can you please help me... Hello... Hello.. Uh-oh i think someone is coming.
127	I am stranded on toilet island.
128	Making an offering to the porcelain god.
129	Hey I am relieving myself, I'll be back when its all over.
130	I'm in a foreign land far far away... Oh wait, this is just the bathroom.
131	When you got to go, you got to go.
132	I'm taking advantage of indoor pluming!
133	Bleeding the lizard.
134	Draining the one-eyed giant.
135	Dropping the kids off at the pool.
136	This is meI went to peeWEEE!
137	Well, I will be right back I am gonna go pay the water bill really quick like!
138	Everyone sh*ts. So yup, you guessed it. I'm taking a dump :-)
139	If you tinkle when you sprinkle please be neat and whipe the seat. I'm in the bathroom ... brb
140	Doing something funky in the bathroom.
141	I gotta pee like a race horse goin on it's 3rd lap!! be b/k in a jiffy!!
142	Plop plop, fizz fiiz, oh what a relief it is.....in the bathroom.
143	DING DONG..... Nature calling.
144	TINKLE TINKLE In the toilet .... :)... :0 HEY GIVE ME SOME PRIVACY!!!
145	Man I need to lose weight I am ssssoooo fat that I weigh 556 pounds and I am 16 and a female .Isn’t that sad but I know you want me don’t worry I am going to the bathroom and will weight 95 pounds when I done!
146	Umm.. hello.. can somebody please help me.. HELLO!! I'm stuck in the toilet.. PLEASE, somebody.. Um.. okay I think someone is coming!!! HELPPPP!!!
147	I'm in the Shower ...stop THINKIN of me Nakie...imma Go put something on....Awwwwww Stop laughing at what I'm wearing.
148	Monkey C Monkey Dew Well I don't C But I go Dew
149	Watching the fan go round and round and round and round and round and round and......uto I gotta hurl.
150	I'm in the tub with my lil rubber ducky!
151	Wheres the bathroom? Third bush after the rock...let me give you a guess I am in the bathroom...brb
152	I'm on the crapper. Deal with it.
153	Ring ring ring Nature's calling,......be back soon!
154	In the bathroom doing my biz ... hit me up.
155	I went to potty land and won't be back for another 10 hours, I hope we can talk later.
156	Anchors Away!
157	HELP! I'm trapped in the toilet, I fell in. Can you please help me... Hello... Hello.. Uh-oh I think someone is coming.
158	Omg I had way way too much coke and well, you can just guess the rest...
159	My dad says he needs me in the bathroom to take care of some plumbing issues??whatever that means?
160	Doing paper work..
161	Brb, I gotta drop trou and squeze out a Cleavland steamer.
162	Hi this is (your name here)'s bladder, if it weren't for me, (name) would still be here talking to you.
163	You Know How Jets Make Like A Jet And Jet...Well...I Have To Make Like A Dumptruck And...Ummm...You Get The Point...
164	If you are reading this then that means I have gone to a better place... yep I am on the toilet.
165	I'm not here right because I'm dropin' a load leave me a message.
166	Takin' a Sh*t be back in an hour!
167	1,2,3,4 I'm going potty, so shut the door!!
168	Yo, emptying myself. I'll be back, much lighter.
169	Hfgewhfgsfbnyuk6jr yrnyth jb4th 6t3r tr3gf5r r3vgrftttttttr 43t 56j435gy34b 435gv4y3tg5y43 utyueruthevgtu54yyytrtrrim pooping so my typing is a little off
170	I was here, but now I'm gone. Because I went to use the john!!
171	Sorry, I am gone dropping off some friends at the lake!
172	My bladder is about to explode! BRB
173	If u once thought something warm down ur leg was nothing.....and u couldnt figure out wut the hell it was....and .....wait a sec its happening to me right now...brb
174	Can't you SEE, that i have to PEE?!?!?!
175	Nature's on the phone! Be back in a sec..maybe more..
176	Gotta pee.... Be back in three!
177	I am on the potty, but don't you leave if you're a HOTTIE!
178	I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now, I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go!(use the bathroom)
179	In the shower gettin squeaky clean!
180	I'm using the bathroom...well, actually I fell in, but what can you do about a toliet the size of a bath tub oh never mind it IS a bath tub! BRB
181	Where is the smelliest wishing well in your house? The Toilet!!! brb
182	I'm making soup in the pot! BRB!
183	My constipation medicine has now worn out. Let me sit on the pot for an hour. Be back when I'm not constipated!!!
184	If I'm not back in 10 minutes, you better go in the bathroom and yell for me. Who knows, I coulda got flushed down there and wind up in your toilet.
185	I went to the bathroom...and I have not figured out how to pull my zipper up yet. I am still working on it... be back later (I hope)
186	I have to go to the bathroom... my back teeth are swimming!
187	Im in the crapper!!! bbl
188	Boo!! I scared you I think you pooped your pants!! Now you can wait in line while I poop.
189	Could you please direct me to the used beer department? I have an oversized load to deliver!
190	I'm feeding the bathroom with Chocolate and Mellow Yellow.
191	I'm prairie doggin' it. Be back in a few hours.
192	I'm taking advantage of indoor plumbing, be back in 20 minutes.
193	I'm not here but check the bathroom, that's where I found %n last time!
194	The notorious turtle head is a pokin'. Oh wait there he went.
195	You know the saying, "make like a plane and jet"?...well I have to make like a dumptruck and....uh....well...you know.
196	pee (pe), v., peed, peeing, n. Slang. - v.i. 1. to urinate. -n. 2. urine. 3. the act of urinating. [ euphemism for piss] 4. the... You get the idea.
197	ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZIf your wondering where the P is... its about to run down my leg in a second.
198	Sorry I am currently downloading to the toilet.
199	Dropping the kid off at the pool, oh wait i think its twins..... ahhhhhhhh
200	When your eyes start to water, I think that your bladder is trying to tell you something.
201	I'm making a deposit to the water bank! get it?
202	I am scratching in the litterbox at the moment.
203	Hey I'm takin a BrB (Bath Room Break)! So sit tight and I'll be right back!
204	I'm taking a piss right now..but instead of taking it I think I'll leave it.BrB
205	Taking a pee or maybe a poo,I dont know just what to do,But ill find out when im in there,After I pull down my underwear!
206	Launching a rocketship is like taking a crap, the rocket flies into space, then gets sucked in by a black hole.
207	I'm inspecting my log at the moment
208	Gone pissin'
209	Out doing some consulting with my toilet right now.
210	I can't be at the pooter right now cause I'm in the bathroom on the pooper!
211	Um.. My stomach hurts so I'm freeing the slaves.. leave one ;)
212	Um.. My stomach hurts so I'm freeing the slaves.. leave one ;)
213	One turd, two turd, red turd, blue turd!!!! (To Cat in the Hat)
214	Ever see that movie where the alien breaks through that guys chest? Well that just happened to me...but in my pants
215	Nature called...HEY! How did it get my number? O well, brb!
216	I've gone to the most refreshing place in the world...Yup that'd be the bathroom ;-)
217	1,2,3, I'm Going Pee So DON'T FRICKING DISTURB ME!!!
218	Niagra Falls is calling my name!!!
219	I think i'm going to need a plunger!!! Can I borrow yours?
220	Making Apple Juice the human way :-P.
221	I'll give you one guess about what I'm doing. It involves a #1 and or #2.
222	Day by day...week by week....right now I gotta go take a leak
223	The average person goes to the bathroom 6 times per day. This is one of those times.
224	HELP! I am trapped in the toilet,I fell in and can't get out!..HELLO.....HELLO......AHHHHHH I think someone is coming.
225	Sorry... Nature is calling and she's pretty long winded...
226	My stocks of quilted bathroom tissue are depleated. Come let us journey to the warehouse retailer.
227	I am not here and I have gone to a better place... yep... I'm on the toilet!!
228	I'm at the Log Dropping Ceremonies.
229	I've got a booty call...from the toilet, if you know what I mean.
230	Hey right now I'm acting like a dump truck because I'm taking a load off so I'll be back after I'm done takin a dump...brb...:-D
231	Ring around the toilet, set your butt upon it, here it comes, here it comes, now it all goes down!!:-D
232	Trying to lose 5 pounds the easy .....I am taking crap be back in a bit!!!
233	Hey a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. and right now this girls gotta do-do...
234	Making waves in the toilet.
235	I'm puttin' the brown ball through the hoop.
236	I'm using the bathroom so leave me alone, if it's an emergency call me on the phone, if it's not just stay right there, hey quit looking it's rude to stare.
237	Since I sprinkle when I tinkle, I am being neat and wiping the seat.
238	"Hey! You aren't cool, unless you pee your pants!" ~Billy Madison
239	I am sorry I am not here right now but I got tired of the prairie dog poking his head in and out. Until further notice the prairie dog is still stuck.
240	SOMEONE BROKE THE TOILET! Running to 7/11
241	I'm taking a pitstop to the bathroom be back later.. maybe soon maybe a little bit later.. it depends on what I had for dinner.. I dont really remember so... I'll be back when i'm done..
242	Hey, I went to go potty, lol, but if you're one fine lookin' hottie, you stay here.
243	A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W U X Y Z.......what letter is missing....if you guessed P you are right... b/c it is running down my leg....brb
244	Plop plop fiz fiz oh what a relief it is.
245	ABCDEFG All my turds are chasin me.One is small,one is fat,one got eaten by my cat.ABCDEFG A ll my turds are chasin me.
246	Dropin' the kids off at the pool if you get what I'm sayin...
247	Be back in a flush...I mean flash!
248	You know the saying "A load off my back"....well..I'm about to take a load off my ass.
249	Feeding the toilet some chocolate...
250	It's my potty and I'll pee if I want to!!!
251	Nature is calling....and I'm answering!!
252	Gotta go Gotta go Gotta go right now Gotta go Gotta Go......LOOKOUT SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!!!
253	I'm taking advantage of indoor pluming! I'll be right back!
254	Diarrhea, diarrhea.... When you're walking in the hall and you feel something fall, diarrhea! diarrhea! When your standing on a ladder and you feel something splatter, diarrhea! Diarrhea!
255	I'm on the toilet, pretending to be a fighter pilot dropping bombs into the ocean.
256	O0o0o who lives in a pineapple under the sea?........Spongebob SquarepantsWho left their computer because they had to pee? ...........(your name)
257	Happiness is like peeing your pants.Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.
258	Doctors say that it is good for us to drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. Unfortunately it has its consequences. brb
259	My butt and the toilet are having a serious conversation
260	Arty Farty had a party,all the farts were there.Tootie Frutty dropped a beauty and they all went out for air!!
261	Dont you hate it when you flush...and that 1 lil pebble of crap comes back up!...WHAT DOES THAT LIL PEBBLE CRAP WANT?
262	Oompa looma doobiti doo... Here'z another riddle for u... What do you get when you bother me? This message saying I had to go pee.
263	Sh*t happens... aparently It's happening right now.
264	You have to hold it, because I can't any longer.
265	Drop me a message while I drop something in the toilet.
266	If your happy and you know it crap your pants.....oops I meant clap your hands!
267	Homework...homework... homework... I can't have a life, I have homework!