Fighting Silicone with Fried Chicken
Written by Dietrich - September 9th, 2004
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Boy was the Labor Day weekend a blast. It was filled with tons of boozing with a great deal of bitches lifting up their skirts to show all they could.
So we had a stripper at our house this past week. All I can say is God bless
women. This girl was amazing. I was the man in charge of getting her here, so it helped that I know the head manager of
the infamous “Gallery Show Club�. Once all the drama settled, there were about 70 people in our little basement here to see
this chick. She had no idea what she was getting herself into. She came downstairs and looked like she was about to strip
but realized there was still shit in her thong. She was scared as fuck. She started dancing and everyone was having a good
time with her junk in everyone’s “grill�. All the girls down
there wih us that I knew kept telling the stripper to pull me out to do a dance, but she decided she wanted to keep my
ass until last ... lucky me. So she pulls my ass out there when it's my turn and does this amazing vibrating thing on me;
damn it was sweet. Mind you, I’ve been drinking for a while now, so I'm having a blast. Next think I know she’s fucking beating my ass with a wood-fuckin-paddle. Not a fucking dinner
paddle, a fucking fraternity paddle. My damn leg is still purple, and that is simply not
cool.
Enough about me and my bodily injuries, and on to some real news ... Pam Anderson. What a stupid slut- she’s boycotting KFC now. Her and her fucking Nazi friends in PETA need to lay the fuck off. First of all, KFC has deliciously sweet wings and breasts. Pam Anderson I think is just upset that her forty year old, different sized every day boobs are no where near as sweet as KFC’s. Also Colonel Sanders is a Fraternity Brother of mine, so eat me bitch!
So I’ve decided that I want to give blood, but only in Cleveland. Those crazy fucks have set up a program that gives dough-naters a voucher for a pint of their favorite beverage ... that’s right folks, that includes Beer. How sweet is that? Speaking of sweet, Texas holdem sure has blown up lately. I can’t look for porn without seeing someone on TV playing Poker. Well if you’re a college student that happens to be reading this (what are the chances) and want to play in a free tournament for real money, go to College Poker Championship and sign up. When you do, put in the rep code: ALA477. Take it from me, it’s a sweet time.
So there you have it ... my daily dish on what should be cool in the world. Now that you’ve read this far, I need YOUR help. I need a sweet column name for all of you bitches to find my stories at. Post what you think my column should be called in the forum and I’ll pass the sweetest one by the one and only Raffman ... Peace out.
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