Viagra's New Partner in Crime
Written by The Steinacologist - October 21st, 2004
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Well boys and
girls, it's about to happen. I'm finally gonna score with
Britney Spears. (Or whatever that whores' last name is.) All I have to do
is get close enough to cover her body in the new, soon-to-be-FDA-approved
woman's sex patch. Then it's oops, I did it again all over your face!
That's right men of the world; the women have taken the hint and developed
what's being hailed "the female Viagra." The drug, called Intrinsa, has
been so promising in clinical trials that the FDA has put it on the fast
track to approval, whatever the hell that is. The pharmaceutical super hunks
over at Procter & Gamble say that if all goes well, the patch could be
available for doctors to prescribe sometime next year, and some think it
might develop the same kind of buzz as Viagra. Basically, the thing works its magic by
diffusing (big words people!) the male-associated hormone testosterone in the woman's blood
supply. Now one might think that pumping man-juice into your woman will turn your woman
into a man, and no one wants that! However, side effects seem to be little to
none. However, experts say that the patch isn't for everyone. (Namely, fat
and ugly chicks.)Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, author of the book "What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex," said women have been waiting for this for a long time. "I've had women tell me, 'I'd rather be cleaning the toilet seat than have sex with my husband, who I love dearly,'" said Hutcherson. "They want to do something about it." Damn straight! But bitch, you still need to clean the toilet! The patch is still in clinical trials though, so we will have to be patient. Its primary use is supposed to be post-menopausal women who lack libido, but I'm sure that if we get some of these college sluts we all know and love on these things, the result will be sexier than an old man banging a horse. (Actually, there are a lot of things that are sexier than an old man banging a horse, but you get my point.) The only draw back to this miracle of modern medicine is that the patch takes a while to work. Unlike Viagra, which we gobble down a few hours before intercourse, Intrinsa takes three to four weeks to get the full effect. But another woman who participated in the study said it's worth the wait. "It does get your juices flowing, so to speak," she said.
This means walking up to that hot woman in the club and secretly putting one of these "pussy patches," as I call them, won't work. Unless you kidnap her for a month or so, but then I think she might get a little mad ... but I can't help wondering what would happen if I walked up to some broad and put like 30 of these things all over her. She'd probably grow a mustache and want to go down on me. But who hasn't had that happen before? Well, Dave from Dave's Daily is at it again with another insane deal specifically for YOU, the College Downtime reader! Don't be gay, visit his site today!
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