Courtney Cox on Anti-Gravity Physics
Written by Raffman - June 24th, 2004

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It is done. The end has finally come. The seven signs have appeared and are already aligned. No, this isn't The Day After Tomorrow - it's much worse. Paris Hilton is coming out with her own music album, and she's teaming up with the Devil himself to create it. No, not David Hasselhoff; it's not a German rap CD. Lil' Jon. Fucking Lil' Jon!?! I guess it was inevitable that the two dumbest people on the planet are now working together; now we can only hope that it doesn't last too long. It really boggles my mind how either of them have been able to make so much money ... oh wait Paris was born into one of the wealthiest families on the planet. Lil' Jon on the other hand is just a fucking enigma. Paris at least has good looks and an extremely successful homemade porn video on her resume. The only thing Lil' Jon can claim is his three-word vocabulary. If any of you happen to know the recording label Paris is using, let me know so the entire college community can tear them a new one for signing Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum to an actual contract. On the other hand I'm looking forward to the CD release just so I can tear it apart in my music review, but I don't know if it's worth blowing $12. I'm really gonna enjoy writing that one though.

For those of you who have taken a moment and stopped by our Forums within the last two days you may have noticed a few changes. First off I upgraded the actual board to it's newest version, so more functionality is available. I also threw up a brand-new skin so it visually is much, much different. I really like the new look and the new features, and I think you will too. If you haven't registered yet click here to get signed up so you can start posting. Over 130 students and graduates have already signed up, so what the hell are you waitin for? A sign from your favorite deity or something? I finally went out and saw Dodgeball last night, and have posted the review. It's jam-packed with words, sentences, and even a few paragraphs. Oh, and lots of sarcasm too. The Mailbox section is coming along nicely, and the first few funny emails will be up shortly. We've compiled quite a bit of them, and we can't wait to share them with the world. We've even replied to many of the scams so we'll have some awesome responses as well for your viewing pleasure. T'will be the last time Nigerian bankers fuck with Raffman!

As many times as we'll have to apologize for Paris and Lil' Jon for representing our country, we aren't the only ones with problems. In Chile yesterday a teenage boy is wanted for biting his girlfriend's bottom lip off after she dumped him. Appararently he asked her for a farewell kiss, and as she leaned in to kiss him one last time the douchebag pulls a Mike Tyson and splits. The hysterical part about this crazy story is that the girl dumped him because he was a bad-kisser! Furthermore, the police still haven't even found the kid yet which surprises me. Couldn't they just follow the trail of blood from the scene? Unless the kid swallowed it of course, then it'd be a little hard I guess. Now that I think about it, that's just disturbing.

New content is added every single day, from you the readers and once in a while even the College Downtime staff themselves. Be sure to hit CTRL-D now on your keyboard to bookmark us so you'll never miss a beat. If you have something humorous, whether it's a hilarious drunk story or a new party idea we want it. There are many ways of submitting content for those of you who are virgins to this glorious website: the easiest is to submit it directly in its respective content section. A second way is to post it in our Forums, which we are constantly administiring. The third way is to just email us, which is a good route if you have something that just doesn't fit into any of our categories. We don't accept attachments however, so if you have something awesome be sure to have a link or something so we can get a hold of it somehow. We hope everyone is having an awesome summer so far, we're almost half-way through it! Enjoy all the new content, register in our forums, and we'll see you all tomorrow in another update!

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