Redefining the Boundaries of Stupidity
Written by Raffman - July 14th, 2004

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After seeing Jessica Simpson tout her Ivy League intelligence level time and time again on The Newlyweds, you would never guess that somebody else could actually beat her at her own game. With Ashley Simpson wowing the world, we can now officially say that there are two people that actually didn't know that Buffalo Wings are really chicken, and not the wings of a buffalo. What about the two of them together? Just thinking of this frightening duo can lead a sane, intelligent college student like yourself into epileptic seizures. The sheer, remote possibility that these two things can actually create their own movie or television show is giving the edumacated world chills down its proverbial spine. Nick Lachey deserves some definate props for being able to put up with all that shit; I'm not just talking about Jessica herself but the family party issue. If two of them are that stupid than that shit has got to be genetic; I bet they still don't even know how to use their microwave. I'm not going to be able to sleep now after thinking about this. Oh well, sleep is overrated anyway, right hoser?

In World News today local slut Paris Hilton was stopped in a Swedish 7-11 and called a "whore" by a man who clearly hates all Americans as gathered from his other statements. Yeah, so I'm a little sarcastic when I write but hey, Ron Burgundy is my hero. The funny thing about this news story is the fact that this douchebag who seemingly hates Americans and everything that we stand for was shopping in a 7-11 before the incident occurred. Do I smell a hypocrite or what? You hate Americans yet you buy your American porno magazines every night at an American mini-mart chain? I'll give you the Paris Hilton whore thing; I can't argue with that. But for shopping at an American chain store while claiming you hate America ... Hell I bet you don't even know what buffalo wings are, let alone where they come from. If any of you faithful readers can come up with a picture of this douchebag please send it in or post it in the forums so we can all tear him apart.

College Downtime these past three or four days has been in an intense period of transition and development as we get ready for the upcoming school year. We are adding new sections like its our job(wait, it is our job!), adding tons of new features, and revamping older areas with easier to use tools and scripts. As of right now we are receiving upwards of 25,000 people each and every day, which is absolutely incredible. We are working to accomodate for the increased traffic, and we think you'll enjoy the changes. The new party pictures script is nearly complete and will be unveiled shortly, as we know many of you are waiting for that section to be remodeled. The Video Game Review section will be up very shortly, as well as the Random-Ass Review section which will be a sure-hit with all of you. Be sure also to check out the latest Bordering on Retarded articles, which are submitted all the time from The Hoad Man himself. Lastly, take a minute to register in our forums as we nearly have 200 registered college students posting away without you; it's fast and completely free!

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